Week 9: Moving On

When you least expect it peace will softly come into your heart 

Week 9:  Moving On

Is it moving on after loss, or did I just stay in motion? As I reach back to the space where grief distorted my memory, I see how the world crumbled. Moving on means I understand how life went on, how I went on, but I don’t? For so long I believed I could not go on, losing a child was never a thought that occurred to me, how naïve I was… 

There is no way to pinpoint a time where I saw myself moving forward, loss had settled into a murkiness, the world around me kept going, but I was caught in a loop of despair, this reoccurring bad dream called grief. 

But somehow, with time, I began these slow steps towards living. Slowly like most things, we learn to walk again, after wobbling through life like a toddler, forward and falling again and again. Even now as I write about grief over thirty years later, it is still with me, an echo of what was that whispers in my ear, with the ache of what will never be.