No pain no gain...

April 9, 2015

In exercise we often hear, no pain no gain...

But when a painful situation comes into our lives we are blind to see any possible growth or gain from it. Distance is necessary to articulate our perspective, and thats the hard part. The sadness and heartbreak often leave us stumbling for a purpose while we remain unable to grasp the overwhelming anguish.


Most of the struggles in life I wanted to move through quickly, immersed in grief was not a place I wanted to stay. Wishing it was 2 months, 6 months or even 1 year later, I would bargain with the sadness to no avail. I knew this battle all to well and I did not want to consider the long road ahead. Knowing a season would soften the heaviness on my heart, I wanted to rush through it so that life would become tolerable again.

Grief and pain are easier to discuss when we are not drowning in it. Down in the trenches of heartbreak, nothing is right with the world. Nobody understands the pain you feel and life holds little value. As you move forward each day, the fog begins to lift and slowly you begin to recognize the transformation, appearing in moments of peace, then hours, then days. Eventually you begin collecting good days and observe the progression, appreciating each step of the journey.

Within the discomfort from heartbreak is where the real work of grief begins, softening us today while molding us into something new for tomorrow. Formed because of the pain or hurt we have suffered, we start to untangle our grief and reshape our stronger selves. 


In Oprah's book, What I know for sure, she tells of a time when she was hurting from rumors and peoples actions and spoke with  her friend Maya Angelou through broken tears, Maya Angelou responded telling Oprah to, "say thank you." Oprah repeated, "I don't think you understand what I am telling you." Maya again repeated, "say thank you" because when you get to the other side of this pain you will understand why you went through it, so you may as well say thank you right now...

This resinated with me after stepping out of my own painful season. How much I had learned about myself and others during that hurtful period. Although nobody would ever invite pain into their life, once on the other side with the lessons learned, I too say thank you.

Sometimes the only way we will change directions in life is when our course is transformed for us, leaving no choice but to adapt to the alterations which now remain. In time you begin to see the beauty from all the development and will find yourself grateful again.


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  • May 29, 2015 @ 7:24 PM EDT
    By Lulu
    "Find ourselves grateful again" I think many struggling with despair find it hard to swallow. But yes the day comes when we see we fought a good fight and we are grateful to see the beauty of life again. This is how we know that our cherished loved one we lost did not go in vain and their beauty will always lie next to us.

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