more thoughts on narcissism

August 28, 2009

I started reading another book on narcissism.  If you're keeping track, this is the 3rd book in reference to narcissism that I'm reading.  I know I should probably finish one, but I kinda like this jumping around from book to book - keeps things interesting.  Although life with a narcissist is already interesting... ha ha

So this book I'm reading The wizard of oz and other narcissist had me laughing from the beginning.  And I think in the case of this personality disorder, you need to be able to laugh... a lot!

The more days, months, or years you have invested in a relationship with an NPD person, the more difficulty you will have recognizing that you are on a one-way street, with all the attention, support and recognition going the other way - his way!  Your confusion and self-doubt are important warning signals that you may be encountering someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder.  

From a distance, this individual appears rather intriguing, charming, and even charismatic.  With a closer look, however, you notice that she is monopolizing the conversation and appears animated and engaging as long as the focus is on her.  After further observation, you notice this warmth and animation quickly evaporate as you inject your thoughts, experiences, or feelings into the conversation.  As the focus returns to her, she is re-energized and engages your attention with a certain gravitational pull.

The serverity and intesnsity of this disorder comes from the NPD individual's desperate pursuit to gain a sense of self.  He consciously understands none of this, yet his inner need to feel worthwhile causes him to manipulate people in order to maintain an endless supply of attention, control, status, money, power, or recognition.  This single-minded purpose covers the almost malignant anxiety and emptiness he feels.

Totally unaware of his inner problems, he looks to the world for fulfillment, relentlessly driving himself and others to meet his grandiose expectations.

Sound like anyone you know?


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